11:38 AM
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
How can ever really express how deeply hurt I was... how much can I tell you that you've shattered my heart into a million pieces. I keep coming back to that day of how much I thought you really cared when all you did was throw everything out. After all we've been through and ways for me to lessen the stress, you managed to put more anguish, humiliation and anxiety. Every time I remember your face and hers, my stomach feels sick and I feel disgusted. If this is what you really do outside, what else have you done? I have never stopped you from going out, hanging out or even sat down with you about how much I trusted you. I trusted you well enough to know that my boyfriend of 3 years, who I own 2 properties with is mature enough to know the difference with what is right and wrong. You picked the worse timing to ever put me in a position to either walk away or stay. How can I ever face you knowingly that you've done that. There's no excuse in the world for any girlfriend or boyfriend to sit there and watch the person you love to sweep someone else off their. I stood by you for 3 years in sickness, through the rough times, through the many amazing trips and in desperate times and this is how you've shown what our relationship means to you. I keep telling myself that I can get over this, but there you are just even contemplating about the consequences of your actions. There is no forgetting this and I want to know that. There is only a chance of forgiveness. I've always put my trust in you which never made me doubt us until now. Was is ever so hard to figure out what was so important of you going and doing that, then denying it? The moment I would think I'm okay, there's always that smirking face of yours staring at her. I hope that night was worth it and cause there are consequences for your actions. Your friends are band not because I said so, it's because you made it so. It's not my fault that I couldn't go clubbing which you initially blamed on me but yours. Being in this place seems like I don't belong in here especially the girls you brought didn't even know who else is paying for this condo. I've accepted all your friends, the druggies and the pathetic ex of yours who claims to know nothing without even a single judgement passed on them until now. Have you ever thought about that you're not single? Or are you ever ready to grow up? Or have you given up on this relationship because you're just too good for it? There no hesitation in my heart to ever leave someone if there's nothing in there. You've seriously hurt me so badly that I really don't know how long my heart will heal. Can you just imagine how I felt hearing and seeing those things and in desperation, stood in front of the both of you hoping you'd realized you've just crushed me. Even that night, I never once said that it over or hated you but felt that is what you did without those words. I have given you everything, my heart and soul into working things out but it's so hard for me to see if you are still the same person. Even though in the past we fought but I fought back to earn your trust again but you've just questioned why you should try. I'm not asking, I am begging you to win my trust to save myself and yourself from completely throwing everything away.
4:46 PM
Monday, March 30, 2009
Jeff is totally being an ASSHOLE... !
Well.. here's a toast to the having new passwords.. you've been locked out your emails, Facebook and cell phone!
I'll drink to that!!!
You burying your shit will always stink!
so how much time do u need to clear our your stuff?
Edward says:
let me know when you are finished
Melodie says:
im finished
Edward says:
liar
Melodie says:
so when r u ready to clear up your stuff? can you even do it...i doubt it
Edward says:
you didnt do it
Melodie says:
shut up..you're so annoying
Edward says:
ok then leave me alone
Melodie says:
ok bye i already know your intention. If i did it back to you, you would never give me a chance cuz it only works one way for you but thats ok..it shows a lot about you
Edward says:
sure if thats what you think
Melodie says:
you're evil like that you love playing games thats why lark plays games with you back
you're ALL ABOUT GAMES
Edward says:
sure you always know best cuz you know all!!!!
Melodie says:
forget it you're all talk
Edward says:
ok
Melodie says:
call your mom & tell her that you will never try & put effort into anything because you're selfish and heartless..please tell your mom & sam that you're a hypocrite you really are bye
Edward says:
melodie did it ever run through your mind why i thought our relationship was over? did it ever run through your mind that the crap you are doing is completely contradicting what you are telling everyone else? did it eve run through your mind why im not exactly begging for you back? did it ever run through your mind why im not exactly jumping through hoops and running to hell and back until you
Melodie says:
give me a good reason i should be doing the same to you? give me one good reason tell me how you deserve it? tell me how you deserve my respect right now especially after you went running to your ex and spent the night with her & then went running back to me after tell me why you deserve my respect just give me one good reason
Edward says:
answer one simple question? did you really think that everything that lead up to this momment was always my fault as you made it seem to be or is it just easier cuz i admitted i messed around with my ex WHILE WE WERE BROKEN UP? Melodie did it ever run through your mind that i could have easly denied everything and shut my mouth and had a perfect alleby and you wouldnt have known shit yet i told yo
Melodie says:
then if you really thought we were broken up, then why did you think we were together after??????
no your ex tricked you!!!!! thats why you told me!!! FACE IT
Edward says:
you knowing exactly what would happen? if you feel that you doing the same to me makes you feel better than GO RIGHT AHEAD I DONT CARE!!! after you answer all of these things quietly by yourself and really think hard about those answers really really think how much of the last 6 months you have made this into a fucking stupid game of cat and mouse and me being the sucker always chasing after you
Melodie says:
THATS ALL YOU'VE BEEN DOING IN THE PAST 6 MONTHS!!!!!!YOU NEVER CHASED AFTER ME YOU CHEATED ON ME SO EVERYTHING WAS ALL JUST A LIE WE WERE WORTH NOTHING TO U
Edward says:
for all your little dramatic things. melodie realize certain things, i was wrong and i admitted it but stop focusing so much on 1 issue that happenned now which is not small at all by no means but reallize this problem started a long ass time ago.......
Melodie says:
YEAH FOR THE ENTIRE 6 MONTHS, WE WERE NOTHING TO YOU...CUZ THEN YOU WOULDNT HAVE DONE WHAT YOU DID
WE WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH
IF WE WERE GOOD ENOUGH, YOU WOULDNT HAVE DONE WHAT YOU DID
THE DOMINICAN TRIP, EVERYTHING ELSE WAS NOTHING TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT HAVE CHEATED ON ME !!!!
YOU NEVER TRIED!!!!
YOU ONLY WANTED TO TRY AFTER YOU CHEATED ON ME
11:25 PM
Saturday, March 28, 2009
This morning, I dashed over to Square One to buy 3 more prizes for the baby shower. I was already running late because of the late night I had. The party was starting at 3 and I was still scrambling to get home. By then, Rho's brothers helped me put up the decorations and set the food. At 330 PM, I went upstairs to take a nap. I was so exhausted running around. When I went down at 430, I just started the game.
Treasure Hunt Game
Shrinking Newspaper
Darren trying to stay on
Greg distracts Rayden by putting him under the balloons
Marose and Ate Gingay
Rochelle and Ana.. you go girls
123... get on!
Thanks to Mare... she kept sane for the last 48 hours!
Nina, Darren, Ana and Herrick stayed behind for a little bit. We’re all planning to go to Niagara Falls. Hello.. I have work!
Sunday, March 29 – I called Ed Jimenez to ask if he can fix the holes in the wall. The first thing that came out of his mouth is.. “So, I heard you and Jeff broke up”
How the heck did he know?!?First off, Jeff and I didn’t break up. Fighting.. YES!
I asked what he knew and he said to say the version of my side. I told him every single detail. The only thing I heard out of Ed was that.. I confessed to Jeff about me cheating, Jeff got up and left me crying in the room. Where the FUCK did that come from?
The fight wasn’t even about that.
Later that evening, Ed came by to fix the holes and everything was laid out on the table for him. I told about ALL the guys I knew that complained about Melodie and the never ending msn messages from Ferdie and Justin. By the time Ed left our place, Jeff gets a text from Mel that I should talking shit about her. I text her back and said to text me of SHE has something to say to me!!!Sent wirelessly from my BlackBerry device on the Bell network.Envoyé sans fil par mon terminal mobile BlackBerry sur le réseau de Bell.Mary Ann:
First off!! I never cheated on Jeff and stop blabbing all the BS! I called Ed to fix the hole but only to hear that u've already assumed that I cheated on jeff nor did he break up with me! stop texting, calling or msging jeff! If u ever need to say anything to me, say it!!!
Melodie:that is what jeff is saying!!! I'm not assuming anything! I don't even think any of that!
Mary Ann:
I don't give a shit about your past but apparently all ur exes had the same issues with u!
Melodie:
Ferdie? Justin? Mark??? They were not my ex's!!!U don't know my ex jeremy or ian. My only two relaionships besides jeff
Mary Ann:He said he never even spoke to you!!! I don't care!!! Just leave me alone! Stop talking to US!!!
Ya okay?!? I don't care if they were exes or not..I have msn msgs from ferdie and justin only msgs to complain about things
Melodie:Ya guys that were messed up in the head!. U told me to date ferdie right after he got out of a long term relationship. I never even liked them!! Anyway, who cares.
Mary Ann:
You've gone over board assuming that I cheated on Jeff! But honestly, I do hope that u find someone that understands u...
Melodie:I don't even think u did!!!!! Ya that was when jeff was mad and he actually said 'maybe'. But now I know the truth
Mary Ann:I saw the msg you textd ed and u clearly said that I did and I sided with ed because cheaters stick together. Hello! I was the only one that that wanted u and ed to get back. I even advised him to talk and work things out. U also txtd him that jeff broke up with me. Txt was at 430 Jeff didn't say 'maybe'..in fact, he only spoke to u today. He didn't anything to u. He's beside me.
Melodie:Me and ed enemies and fighting. Of course we'll saying shit to each other about anything. Maybe you should know what bad thing he said about you guys!!! Its like you talking to shit to ed about me!!!!! U don't even know me
Mary Ann:Sure! What bad things! Just to keep this open. I'll ask ed too!
Melodie:
I know some of urs ex's and all the bad things they've said about you but it gives no reason for anyone to judge you and think you're someone that you're not.
Mary Ann:So then.. What bad shit has ed said about jeff and I?!?! The stuff he knows are things people actually things guys asked advise about u
Ok fine!! Name an ex of mine! But u don't see my exes complaining to u or me running back to them!
Melodie:Jun for example. He said you're dirty and a whore. But I don't care and of course I wouldn't believe that.
Mary Ann:
That's too funny. Who else?! Is that all?!? One guy from my elementary school who apparently thought I liked him... That's fine by me if u know my past from 10-15 years ago.. I really want to know what shit ed said about us?
You fucked up my Friday night
- I've decided to invite Mary, Jackie and Mic for dinner to celebrate my resignation with CAD Micro. While everyone else is getting laid-off, here I am resigning. We all met up at Korean BBQ on Queen Street. It was unfortunate that Jax couldn't make but I'm really happy that she's celebrating her dad's birthday. Mic, Mary and I were eating and sitting for so long that we eventually got kicked out. Who gets kicked out of the restaurant.. HOW RUDE. Anyhow, we drove to Dixie to pick up John to chill at my place. When we got there,
Jeff, Ed and Melodie were on their way out to JFK (a club). Mic, John and Mary ended up at my place just watching the Hills until I had to drive them home. At about 130 am, I drove Mic and John and on the way home, I called Mary to see if Jeff was home. I drove to JFK to surprise him but when I pulled up in the parking lot,
Jeff and 2 girls were all flirting with eachother. I called his cell but he didn't answer. I watched from the distance these 2 girls and Jeff, giggle, laugh and throw their arms around him. I followed them home and I quickly ran upstairs to tell Mary.
The 2 girls, Joanne and Mary Joy still flirted with Jeff right in front of me. I was in the bedroom when I heard this conversation.
Jeff : Do you know we have the same birthday?
Joanne: Ya, we're cool.
Jeff: I find people with the same birthday a turn-on. Did you know that I was attracted to you? You didn't notice me because I was fat.
Joanne: I was noticing you.
By then, I'm steaming and I wanted to rip the walls apart. I came outside and witnessed the both of them giggling and pushing eachother. By this time, it's 4 am and I'm about to blow up in front of everyone. I walk over at the kitchen counter and Jeff doesn't even see me. He's completely staring at Joanne.
After a while, I got tired of just standing there trying to get Jeff's attention. I said Iwas going to bed but they all still stayed in the kitchen.
*hint hint I'm going to bed so get the FUCK out!
Jeff drops them off downstairs and comes to bed.
I wanted to know if he got her number and the stuff he said. He started saying that I was hearing and seeing things. I was the
sober one and I can still picture the both of them giggling. I was getting so frustrated and I couldn't stand the fact that he did that right in front of me.
He suddenly jumped on the bed and starts yelling on top of his lungs that I cheated on him with Mike. He was making all these wild accusations and he said that I slept at the beach with Mike, held hands and kissed under the moonlight.
In my head - *thinking What the hell just happened.
He got up and starts yelling some more and louder .. and punches
3 holes beside our bedroom door and 1 by the washroom. This all ended at 5 - 6 am and I had to get up early for Rho's baby shower.
Jeff's creativity!!
Nice job but next time can you make a bigger hole for me to patch up!?!
My first attemp with drywalling, patching and sanding.
But forgot the lumber support in the back.
Thanks to Ed for redoing it!!!
10:07 AM
Thursday, March 26, 2009
I wish there was more hours than 24!
Almost everyday, I have an appointment or I have to be somewhere. I don't hink I've ever had a day where I can just go straight home and do nothing.
Since I resigned from CMS, I'm trying to cram in all the doctor appt in case I need to buy prescription. Why pay if you have benefits. Unless I wait 3 months.
I'm thinking of cancelling my dentist appt because I think I should until my new position.
Last night, Rhoma and Hugo were suppose to pass by. Unfortunately, Macio was ill. The poor little thing was throwing up and having diarrhea.
I cooked chicken wings and pizza. It's a good thing that I didn't cook the salmona nd veggies. It'll be too much for 2 people to eat. I asked Jeff to call his friends over to eat the rest of the pizza.
Today, Rho and Hugo will be picking up the labels for Deeh.
I feel like I'm the one having a baby shower! I even make the decorations from my computer.
I know... I guess I know how to waste time well.
Even for my dad's birthday in April.. I'll have to find a way to print them all off.
Things to do:
Tutor - Honour for 3 hours
Meeting - Business Plan for Steve
and maybe see Charles. He said that he wants to talk business.
9:06 AM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
At 435 PM, just before home time, I gave BP the news that I will be leaving the company for good. I kept pacing up and down from my office to Debs' to get the courage to tell him. It's never been easy for to quit at any job. The economy is tough and I still can't believe I'm putting myself out there. I'm just afraid that if I stay here, I won't get to see or do what I need to do. There are other opportunities and here I am making other people rich.
Off topic.. I found a picture from 10 years ago. Went to my parent's house and found this.
9:10 AM
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20 - Jeff and I drove to Heartland to buy balloons at Party Packagers. The theme for my dad's birthday will be blue and gold. Then my car started to my these funny noises. The breaks could be wore out.
Saturday, March 21 - we stayed home and Melodie came over. She's upset about what Ed did. I still can't believe it either. She slept over until Sunday.
Sunday, March 22 - Melodie needed a ride home but it was a mission. Noone was around to drive her. Finally, Denver said he didn't driving her home. He got there after 15 mins but Mel already had a ride. The guys stayed and we played poker while trying to play Taboo. - "Singafor"
Pictures that's worth 999 words
1:42 AM
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Mary, why are your eyes like that? *wink
Jeff's favorite mug. You forgot the umbrella!
What's the odd on pulling a ROYAL from the FLOP TO THE RIVER?
Such a pretty picture.. just don't get him mad
The few times I ever get the chance to take pics with my BFF
My BFF who's beautiful in AND out
Can't explain this picture but you should ask my chair
Old school poses from 1994
Where's the rest of the garment?
and ya.. there IS a penis on her forehead
The cousins
9:23 AM
Friday, March 20, 2009
I missed 10 days of writing. After Ray and Jen' baby shower, things just got a little hectic.
Ray and Jen's baby shower - March 7
Monday, March 9 - I went to see Dr. Sharma and Dr. Attua at the Queensway clinic. My DHEA-s Level was high. It means that my hormones aren't working properly. I haven't gotten my period for 7 - 8 months and they kept on saying the it's because of stress. Now, they're saying that it might be Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.
Tuesday, March 10 - I went to Trillium Hospital because my right flank was hurting. I had a pinching feeling above the kidney area. They scheduled the next day for an Ultrasound.
At Trillium - Got there at 9 am and waited until 5 pm
Wednesday, March 11 - Went to see Dr. Dao, my dentist to get my wisdom teeth checked. It started to come out.
Friday, March 13 - I took a vacation day off. Went to Trilium to get a CT scan. They found a cyst on my ovary. Took a job offer with Winmagic. Planned to come back to CMS but my boos went to Barbados.
Saturday, March 14 - Myra's bachelorette party at Pantages.
Sunday, March 15 - My BFF came by. She slept over and passed out in the den.
Tuesday, March 17 - Hospital called. They recommended that I get a family doctor.
I went to see Dr. Campbell.
Wednesday, March 18 - It was such a beautiful day. Jeff and I went to Sport Chek to buy a bike for me. Went biking and went to see his parents.
My new bike - Thanks babe!
Thursday, March 19 - Last night Jeff and I went to see my parents. My mom and I are planning a SURPRISE 65th birthday party.
Made by moi!
Friday Night plan
- Go to party packagers to buy stuff for Rhoma's and my dad's party
- Edit photos for my portfolio
Almost time to tell my boss
9:15 AM
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I accepted the job offer at Winmagic and my boss will be back on Monday. I'm so nervous to let him know that I'm leaving. It's never been easy for me to resign because I always feel the oligation to stay. I know it's only a job but being here for 4 years gives my the seniority to do whatever I want. I'm going to my office and my daily rush to work every morning. I'm late everyday and they just got used to it.
I'm going to miss Debra and Tamer. They've been the most supportive. Debra and I have this connection now. I'm really trying to be more like her. She doesn't take crap from anyone but she also needs help on being a little nicer when saying things.
9:10 AM
Monday, March 9, 2009
Jeff and I went to Sherway Gardens to pick up Jen and Ray's baby shower gift. We got them at nursing pillow. We got there at around 5pm and everyone just pretty much got there.
After, Jeff and I just went home. We watched a filipino movie called
Milan. It was okay. Long movie about people trying to live in Italy. I wonder if that's how they really get there?
Through the mountains?
We watched until we felt sleepy but I still played Text-twist on my itouch.
SUNDAYJeff was cleaning and cooking like crazy. He was putting things away, sweeping and mopping. I felt like a Molly Maid was in the house. Ed, Dennis, Rich and Jackie passed by for a bit to play poker, eat and watch a movie.
9:19 AM
Friday, March 6, 2009
Yesterday, I had my 2nd interview at Winmagic. I've met the entire management team with the span of an hour. They even brought Poalo in for him to say hello. It was akward. I haven't seen him in 14 years!!!
I met the NA Sales manager - Mike Santonil (Soon to be new boss)
Joseph - Marketing Director
Sylvie - Operations Manager
Julius - General Manager
Gary - HR Manager
I'm almost having 2nd thoughts about leaving CMS. I've been here for 4 years and I can pretty much do anything I want... but there's RL... she's been making it difficult for me to stay here.
Am I having cold feet?
After the interview, we went to Square One to get my phone, dropped Jeff off and to Rhoma's house.
Rho's cooking
Classic - Nice face Rho
Rho and Alfa cooked some "bifstek" while I was tending to Keora and Chloe.
*cough cough.. hee hee.. Sick day planned
2:26 AM
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Today is the day that I'm calling in sick. Marchielle and Alfa will be visit Rho tomorrow.. and I guess I'm going along for the ride. 3 babies and 1 on the way .. oh my! Besides, I have to go and see my doctor. My back is actin up again. The pain on my side hasn't gone away at all. The pinching feeling was gotten worse.
I've already prepared my "sick" voice tomorrow. At 12:30 I also have an interview with Winmagic Inc. Let's see what they have to offer. If I get, it'll be a really good change in my career path.
My schedule:
10 am - Massage for 1 hour
1230 pm - Interview
130 pm - Chiropractor
2 pm - Doctor
3 pm - Rhoma's House
6 pm - Tutoring (Maybe)
8 pm - Photo editing for appointment for a wedding
2:06 PM
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I can't remember was I did on Monday. I think I went to see the doctor to get a blood test done. My back has been hurting for the last 24 hours. Hopefully, it's not a major thing.
Paolo passed my resume to their Marketing Director. I was in their office for an hour. It's for a Marketing/Sales position. Hopefully I get it. I seriously need a change in my career. This place is a lot closer to my place. It's just up the street. Maybe I can even bike it during the summer.
I told them that I wouldn't want to waste their time if they won't consider the salary I want.
I have a second interview tomorrow at 12:30. Hopefully it goes well.
Paolo - thanks for passing my resume
At night, Mel and Ed came by to have dinner at our place.
Jeff cooked pasta, veggies and grilled chicken. We watched Confession of a Shopaholic. It was funny, but I couldn't really relate to that feeling.
At 11, we drove to Rhoma's place to drop the invitations off. I've been working on all the invitations, including the e-vites, printed and fb one. I even custome designed the one on her evite.
11:14 PM
Sunday, March 1, 2009
It’s a mix day today. Jeff and I are celebrating our 3 years together. 3 YEARS! Ya, I know! I’m surprise myself!
We ate lunch at Coras. At around 3, we met up with my parents’ at Sam’s club. There were a gajillion people in there. Apparently, they are closing and they’re having a special on most of the items.
Sam's Crazy Club
Jeff booked a hotel at the Ramada hotel at Niagara. We just wanted to get away and maybe hit the casino for a bit. The room was small but gorgeous. The one side had all windows overlooking the falls.
At 5 pm, my side below my ribs started to feel weird. There was a throbbing pain that wouldn’t go away. I thought I can just walk it off but after 10 mins, the pain was radiating across my back. Jeff and I drove home cause I wanted to sleep it off. At 9 pm, he drove me to the doctors because the pain was getting worse. I went to see a doctor and a gynaecologist. I have to come back sometime tomorrow to hand it my swab test.
Shrinking Newspaper
Darren trying to stay on
Mary, why are your eyes like that? *wink
Jeff's favorite mug. You forgot the umbrella!
What's the odd on pulling a ROYAL from the FLOP TO THE RIVER?
Such a pretty picture.. just don't get him mad
The few times I ever get the chance to take pics with my BFF
Can't explain this picture but you should ask my chair
Old school poses from 1994
The cousins 
