11:59 PM
Saturday, February 28, 2009
All week long I've been planning
Jackie's birthday dinner / drinking fest at Jack Astors. I only invited the people I knew that are close to her. During lunch time, I picked up a few items from the Dollar Store and Metro. I bought balloons, a pin that says "Birthday Girl" and a birthday cake. Right after work, I went home to pick up Jeff and drove over to Ray's house to get him, made our way to Jackastors and chilled for 30 mins before I had to get the birthday girl. I was franticly calling Rob, Liza and Randy to make sure that they were on the way. It's odd if the birthday girl is there before them.
Our party of 8 - Ray, Liza, Randy, Carolyn, Rob, Jeff, Jax and meee
Jackie hopped into my car and started suggesting places to go. In my head, no matter what she says.. we'll still end up at Jackastors. We made our way to Jackastors and everyone was waiting.
At the door, the bouncer asked for my ID... and I muttered,"I was here earlier." It's a great thing Jax didn't catch that.
We walked and I was ahead of her. I sat down at the table and she was completely surprised. She looked up and saw all the familiar faces. It was a classic!!!
I bought a pitcher and bought 8 shots. The shots were coming after one another.
After a while, I noticed Jax was missing... last thing I heard from Carolyn was that Jax was puking in the washroom. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Jax felt so sick that she was in a hurry to get out of there. It was funny cause everyone was basically forced to leave, through the our coats on and ran to our cars because of the freezing temp. It was the fastest good bye I’ve ever experienced.
Went home I was still feeling restless. I still wanted to go out or do something. It’s unfortunate that Mic and Aez couldn’t stop over. Aez got too tired.
10:22 AM
Friday, February 27, 2009
After work, I drove to North York to see my student. We were learning fractions and decimals.
I can definitely join Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. Honour (my student’s name), is struggling with understanding the concepts with applying the lessons she learnt. It reminds me of myself when I was her age. There were some certain subjects I couldn’t understand.
Honour's pet - Bella
At 9 pm, class was over and I went home to get Jeff to go to Rhoma’s house. It’s Thursday night Monopoly. They have an adorable 2 year old and there’s us... 4 adults playing MONOPOLY like a 2 year old. It gets so intense sometimes when landing on a stupid property. It’s insane to pay 9 Million on Hugo’s purple properties and Jeff’s 11 Million yellow properties. It’s so funny how Hugo and Jeff get so serious with the bidding war. The last time we were there, Rho and I were cracking up so hard that we could hardly breathe. I think Monopoly is a great game to play.. it’s nice to beat the other players. It’s sorta reflects life... you could be rich or dead broke ...
Jeff and Hugo - Fight to the end
Rhoma and Hugo - negociating with Jeff
An apple a dat keeps the dentist away..NOT!
1:32 AM
Thursday, February 26, 2009
My first visit to the dentist went smoothly. I haven't seen Dr.Doa since 2 years ago. My wisdom tooth started to grow and my gums were aching. All they did was clean it my teeth and I have to come back for 2 more visits. I guess that's making up for the years I missed.
On the way home, I picked up Neesha at her condo. We ordered some jerk chicken while we watched Project Runway. The show ended and we went for a quick swim and hit the hot tub.
1:40 AM
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sparkle and her 2 adorable kids came by the condo tonight. It must have been over 4 years since I last saw them. I feel horrible for not keeping in touch her. Throughout highschool Sparkle and I were the team duo of second period. We'd hang out at the cafe and she'd braid my hair. One time she braided it so tight that I use to hang my head over my bed to lessen the pressure.
She promised to swim some other time. Her kids had to be in bed early for school.
[Posted from my itouch]
Blackberry vs itouchi
Thanks to the women in my life!!!
5:24 PM
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Words can't even express how much I appreciate these women in my life.
Thank you!!
4:38 PM
Monday, February 23, 2009
Since I haven't had that much sleep, my body and my mind are exhausted. I could hardly keep my eyes open right now. This morning MH had to drive Chris to school at 630 am. What highschooler goes to school 2 hours before class? He said he didn't want to be late.
A little excessive don’t you think?
I told him that he must be a straight A student. MH said he’s an A+++++++ and I said he’s a SUPER! (Just like the grade in Dance Dance Revolution) LOL Chris must have gone in the room to wake us up 3 times. We didn’t get up until 645 and by then, Chris was already outside trying to start the car. Just my luck, the car was broken and drove both of them to work and school.
Thanks for everything MH. It really means a lot to me to have someone like you in my life. I had fun driving from Mississauga to my self claimed favourite, none perverted spot at Humber beach area.
I don’t know where to begin.
How does someone ever start expressing about how they felt about dying?
After I got home, I felt as though another person came over me and wanted to jump off the balcony. I tried not to think about it but my mind was fighting my rational thinking. My hands wanted to hold on to the couch but my feet wanted to walk up to the balcony. It’s not the fact that I even thought about suicide, it’s the fact that I wasn’t afraid to die.
I was franticly calling everyone that lived close to me to ask if they wanted to sleep over or go out for coffee. I must’ve called Ed a dozen times and he didn’t pick the phone. I’m completely furious with him because he’d be one of the few guys that I can trust and ... ya!
Anyhow, I managed to get a hold of MH and hauled him out of his house. He was probably ready for bed or watching Smallville but he was nice enough to accompany me.
I drove all over Mississauga and Etobicoke just to get my mind of things... my emotions were still running high and I was spacing out half the time. I felt so overloaded and I was going to have a meltdown. MH and I sat in the car for a about half an hour at Humber Beach. The skyline of Toronto just left me breathless. I didn’t realize that I haven’t taken any time to relax and just enjoy the wonders.
We drove back and my intention was just to drop him off. In the pit of my stomach, I was having a sudden pang of worry. I can see my condo and how depressing it was to see it empty and... I was empty.
I drove home and the same anxiety came over me. I was afraid like a 5 year old that wanted to hide under a bed sheet. I feel really bad that I had to go back to MH’s house. At the time, it felt like I had no other choice...
Toronto Skyline
Nightmare on Elm Drive West
10:35 PM
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Around 2 pm, I received a phone call from Jeff's mom. She said that Jeff was going in for
surgery for his gall bladder. I was in total disbelief. I was just leaving to see mom; instead I was heading out to another hospital to see someone else get admitted. These life trials is really stressful and I don't know how much more I can take. I'm panicking and screaming inside and noone is hearing it. I'm about to have a major breakdown soon if I don't see my psychiatrist this week. It's been a tough past 2 weeks and now this. I'm trying to stay focus but sometimes, I can't help thinking about the worse. I just want to hide under my bed tomorrow. As selfish as it seems, I just need a break from all this.
Shower - It's raining babies
My good friend is having having her baby shower on March 28, 2009 and I just volunteered myself to help her out with organizing it. She's having it in our party room. Tonight we're meeting up at her parents' house to disgust the invitation, food and games.
Picture: Rhoma - 36 weeks
The good and the not so good
Today is the day mom is going home. They are discharging her this afternoon. I just spoke to her and I'll be meeting her at home. I thank God that he has kept her safe and healthy. She's feeling a little better and she can walk on her own now. It's going to be a long road to recovery but I just really happy that there weren't any major complications. I am thankful for all the people who visited her, prayed for her and spent time talking to her while she was at the hospital. Toronto General Hospital has given my mom a second chance.
The day of my mom's triple bypass just before going in
Today is also the day Jeff went in for his ultrasound. I didn't go with him because we were arguing last night. I just couldn't stand him complaining about me looking for my debit card in the car. When we got upstairs, we just both exploded and I left. I went to my parents' house to cool off. My phone died and I got a long ass text from Jeff. When I read, it didn't make any sense to me what so ever. This morning, I woke up and he was gone. I've trying to call him phone and it's going directly to his voicemail.
Driving up to Niagara seemed like half an hour. We talked about the past, the jokes and about life. We're both turning 30 and we still haven't figured life out yet. I'm completely pleased that he and I are still friends after 13 years.
We arrived at Niagara and I was pretty disappointed that I let my vice control me. I didn't even stop after losing my shirt. There was a guy who was dropping $300 per hand. Wtf? What do these people do for a living? He was loud and he mumbled words with a thick Chinese accent. It more fun watching him scream "Tie" and "Dealer in the game" in every hand. After all that, we drove home and though I wanted to sleep, we started talking about things didn't have an answer to. It's the kind of conversation not one single person or a million person could give a perfect answer to. The ultimate answer only laid on ones mind and actions. It's a question of why and what. I got home safe and sound and the conversation I had was very intriguing. It's the sort of thing that makes me respect that person.
-- Post From My iPhone
4:44 PM
Friday, February 20, 2009
Change of plan. D just called and we're going to do a mini reunion at Niags. You never know, we might actually end in Chicago. I'm kidding.
Picture - Chicago 2005
3 more hours and I get to bolt out of here. I've manage to waste most of my morning and most of the lunch hour on perfecting this blog page. I've edited everything I hated about the interface. For about an hour, I was on msn talking to Ed about his dilemma with what he should do in his relationship. I can preach about certain things and give him advice but it’s totally up to him on what he decides on. I’m not sure if I feel bad that these men who fall for Melodie are getting suckered or feel bad for Melodie because no man can put up with her for a long time. The things I’ve heard from Justin to Ferdie to Ed, it’s no big surprise. The one thing in common is that they always say that “she’s acting like a child” Maybe she needs to date a 5 year old ?
Which one is she more compatible with?
I’m on the verge of losing my mind. When you’re being pulled in every directions and you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything, it seems like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I feel like shutting my mind. Last night will be the most memorable moment of my life. Things that I couldn’t express before just started pouring out me. As well as emotions that should’ve been express from a long time ago started to surface. I could also see that Mic was getting emotional as we spoke about her father. It was sn intense conversation and it meant so much to me for her and I to open up. I see now that true friends stick through the toughest times, not just the good times. I feel liberated that I can confide in someone. There are so few girls that I can truly rely on and trust my life with.
3:38 PM
Thursday, February 19, 2009
It's always hard to start a new blog because I never know what to say in the beginning. All I know is that, after reading my old blogs from a couple of years ago. It made me chuckle and reminisce about LIFE. Not the kind of life I’m living now. Right now, I’m just surviving; I’m not living. I work and pay the never ending bills. When I do play, I constantly worry about the “what ifs.” This will be my outlet for the thoughts that are stuck in the corner, my venting place and my attic where things are meant to be hidden for now but not forgotten.
Thank you!!
